Three Words: It's Your Fault

“It’s YOUR fault.”

I watched from a distance as my two children wrestled on the couch.  It was a fun, sibling match full of giggles and grins.  Until Jayden began to fall, her face and Peyton’s foot colliding.  She burst out in tears and immediately Peyton turned and shouted “It’s YOUR fault.”

Three words that have the power to penetrate through the depths of our hearts.  

I called my son over to me and he hurried to explain to me that he hadn’t hurt his sister.  He was quick to dismiss all responsibility in the matter and even quicker to pass it on.  But neither of them were at fault.  As she sat there, hurt and crying, he had the opportunity to comfort her.  Instead he chose to make her feel guilty.

The passing on of guilt and shame.  When one broken heart is left unhealed by a Savior, it continues the pattern.  Breaking one heart after another.

“Amnon became frustrated to the point of illness on account of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her.”  2 Samuel 13:2 NIV

Amnon was around 22 and Tamar, 15.  At that time, the daughters were kept in strict seclusion and this frustrated Amnon.  His problem was lust.  The same problem that caused his father to devise a plan to sleep with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11).  Amnon made himself sick, lay in bed and requested Tamar to cook for him.   Verses 6-14 tell us how the story that tragically ends.

“But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger that she, he raped her.”  2 Samuel 13:14

Read on to what it says next.

“Them Amnon hated her exceedingly (he blamed her for what he had done)…” vs. 15 (The Expositors Study Bible)

None of us would blame this innocent girl who was simply caring for her brother.  But I wonder what her heart went through after leaving with the door being “bolted after her.” (vs. 18)  What disgrace did she allow in?  What shame did she carry?

What disgrace have you allowed in?
What shame have you carried?

“Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornamented robe she was wearing.  She put her hand on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went…And Tamar lived…a desolate woman.”  vs. 19,20

She carried so much shame, embarrassment and grief that she became desolate.

Desolate: empty, joyless, without hope, abandoned, depressed, devastated place

For you feeling like you are broken and used.
For you who weep aloud.
For you Tamar’s who carry burdens of shame, disgrace, embarrassment and grief.  
For you empty, joyless, without hope.  Feeling abandoned, depressed and whose hearts are devastated.

“(You) will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; (you) will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations…Instead of (your) shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace (you) will rejoice in your inheritance…and everlasting joy will be (yours).”  Isaiah 61:4,7

He has come to remove our ashes - those reminders that mark us as used, abused, unworthy, unloved - and in place give us beauty (Isaiah 61:3).  

He has come to take our hearts, tossed by the storms of life and left wounded, uncomforted, and rebuild us in beauty, splendor and with preciousness (Isaiah 54:11).  

Know today that it is not your fault.
You are not guilty.  
Chose today to turn your ashes over to His Healing touch.  Allow His nail-scarred hand to press into your wound and bring Healing that only He can.  No longer carry the bags of regret and shame, choose to break the pattern.   Because those three words have penetrated our hearts, some way and some how, but His Truth tells a different story - His Truth tells us we are redeemed and we are free.