The Exchange Gift

The rubber band snapped and flew across the room.  She searched everywhere she possibly could, turned over every space and still couldn’t find where it went.  There was no purpose in finding it other than to ease her mind of wondering where it could possibly have gone.  She shared this story with me and then looked to a friend across the room,

“I’m not sure that you remember, but, back when we used to exchange gifts John gave Tom a flashlight.  That’s the same flashlight I got out to use and wouldn’t you know, it still works, it still shines…”

Her eyes instantly filled with tears. 

She reached her smooth, worn-by-time hand over and grabbed mine, leaned in and said “I’m always the crier of the group!”

That moment wouldn’t leave my mind.  And days later, it still hasn’t. 

I have never met her husband Tom.  He went to be with the Lord in the fall of 2006, just a few years before our families’ lives crossed paths.  But what she said about the Christmas gift all those years ago couldn’t be truer.  The light still shines. 

The life of a man I’ve never known greatly affected mine. 

He was the father of our pastor who has been at our side through hard times because, like he says “we’re family.” He was the father-in-law of a friend who has knelt to boldly pray for our lives.  He was the husband to the woman whose gentle spirit and sweet smile has been honey to our souls.  This man I have never known sewed into the Kingdom of God and my family has been blessed to have received nourishment from that harvest. 

The light of this man still shines because the light he carried was the very Light of Christ.

 “For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.”  2 Corinthians 4:12

“The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world.”  John 1:9

How appropriate to think of this example as we celebrate the Christmas season.  In His graciousness, God sent the gift of His Son so that we would no longer dwell in darkness.  This baby king came to conquer every burden, every sting of sin, and every grave to make a way for us to have a life that will not be cut short or ended.  When we bear the light of Christ in our hearts, our lives shine on long after we pass from the earth because His purpose on that first Christmas was to set eternity in the heart of man.  His plan was one that was and is eternal, and when we live according to it, we are part of a greater, grander story that defies the limits of time. 

This Christmas, may we be reminded of the Light that flooded the darkness of our sin-filled world and rescued our sin-filled selves.  May we choose to receive the gift of Jesus in our own hearts and live in a way that shines the Light of Christ long after we are passed from this temporary place.  As we exchange gifts, may we keep in mind to also exchange ones of lasting importance that reflect our Savior and shine His light into the lives of those we love: gifts of grace, of kindness, of undeserved favor and gentleness and of forgiveness.

Because that Christmas night long ago, we were freely given the greatest gift of all:

A Savior who received from us every sin in exchange to give us His Perfect Life that we may live.

Merry Christmas.

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of Life.”  John 8:12

Sin-Boots

It had been almost a month since we last saw our new friends.  She came around the corner with a huge smile and bubbling personality and he grinned ear to ear, ready to peel back more layers of the onion he claims us to be!  We introduced them to our son and quickly caught up before the church service started. 

She held out her leg and said “Look!!!” as she pointed to her boot. 

I was puzzled. 

My first thought was that I loved her brown boots, but I wasn’t sure why she was pointing those out to me.  Then she excitedly told us “My big BOOT is gone!  It’s healing!” 

How could I have forgotten?!  Weeks before she had injured her ankle and came to each of our group-study meetings with a huge boot and a limp.  The doctor finally allowed her to remove it and although she wasn’t healed completely, the boot was gone and her recovery was progressing. 

As we worshiped in their church service that morning, I thought to myself that I couldn’t believe I didn’t know what she was showing me.  I had hoped she didn’t think I had forgotten about her injury or failed to pray for or care for her healing in the weeks that followed our study-group ending.  I have prayed, I have been in touch with her, but for that moment Sunday morning I completely forgot about the boot she once carried. 

Then the whisper of God came.  The words my heart has been aching to hear:

You are not known by your limp. 

He called my attention to our pew full of those whose sins I have known, whose hearts have been laid bare before the throne, and who I love and admire.  My heart swelled because in this brief encounter with a friend, God was calling to me and loving me and making sure I understood His Truth without hesitation and without doubt. 

You see, there is an enemy of our hearts who comes to kill our life, and if not kill our very lives, then he sets out to steal and destroy our joy and our hope.  The enemy has a way of reminding us of where we once failed, where we have fallen short and of the things that once left us broken, unhealed and spiritually limping.  He determines to plague our days with guilt and take our trust in order to keep us limping and convince us that we will be known by our sin-boot.

But His Abiding Truth pierces the darkness because the darkness of sin once pierced His flesh.  God saw that we were all in need of a way to heal our broken, crippled selves and that we had no way of escaping sin on our own.  Our Gracious Father sent a baby King to be born in the most unlikely place, to make a way for the most undeserving people, and to die an unimaginable death so that we would no longer be prescribed to stumbling along in our sin. 

“For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.  Cleanse me with the hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whited than snow.”

Psalm 51:3, 7

 

That morning my friend explained how although her boot is removed, there is still much healing to take place.  After healing, there will be rehabilitation.  Yes.

Our hearts are much the same.

When we are tempted to believe the lies that are still grasping tight to our heels:

                Addictions.  Depression.  Anxiety.  Anger.  Lust.  Bitterness.  Guilt. 

                Times when a lapse in judgment cost us, cost another.  When weeping endured. 

                When the bottom fell out.  When darkness reigned.  Idolatry.  Adultery. 

    Whatever sin-boot may have once been….

                                                                                     We need to know the Truth.

 “He will rest [in silent satisfaction] and in His love He will be silent and make no mention [of past sins, or even recall them]; He will exult over you with singing.”

Zephaniah 3:17 AMP

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”             

Psalm 103:12

 You are not known by your limp.

You are known by the Saving Grace of the cross.

Written For One

Every child has a favorite place: a fort, a tree house, a back yard, a park, a swing, a pool and while I had many good memories of each of these, my favorite place was my uncle’s lap.  I spent much of my childhood there drawing and learning and listening.  It was there that I’d write books and he would draw in the illustrations.  There was always a way that my story would come to life when he’d draw.  He’d draw the silliest things, people with too-big ears or too-big noses, never the way I pictured it in my mind.  But always just right, always to make my heart fill with laughter and joy.  

 We often don’t notice God’s hand in our lives until we look back. 

Looking back now, I can see time after time when God nourished that seed He planted within me so long ago.  Times when the ground of my heart was tilled and unearthed and the hard-stone was removed to make room for the growing.  Moments of spiritual drought and some of flooding.  Times when the “push through” didn’t come so easily and the harvest seemed lost.  But there was never a time when goodness wasn’t made of the broken, never a time when God’s hand wasn’t faithfully weaving His purpose and guiding my way until that particular seed came to bear fruit…

SHE BLED is a part of my story. 

    A part of my story that I have merely written, but one that He has brought life into.

                …one that I pray will allow others to seek Him in their own story and find life among the ashes. 

    A part of my story that I never expected to look as it does, but one that fills my heart with   absolute joy. 

                …one that I pray will give others the hope of finding joy again in their own messy, beautiful story.

More importantly, it is part of His stories.

The times when Jesus walked this earth and showed us just who He is and what He is capable of.

                …not a painted bright white image, not a religious set of requirements, or a false opinion of a lofty Christian.

   The story of His eternal plan of redemption, one of restoration, that would defy the limits of time.

                …all because His was the greatest act of love ever to be known and it was done with each of us in mind. 

I set out with the promise that I would write this book for one.   Over and over through the months of writing I have reminded myself of that promise, I have picked up and started again because of that promise, but it wasn’t until the book was published and on its way to my door step that I realized exactly what that promise meant.  

I promised to write it for one:   

for one heart to change and find Jesus, find healing, would be enough and would be worth it. 

But I realized my promise all along was that I would write it for ONE:

for the One God to use as He sees fit to reach a world [or one] in need of His Truth.

I have done what I promised to do: I wrote SHE BLED for One.
The rest is up to Him.

I celebrate a dream that has become a reality in authoring a book, and prayerfully more to come.                   

But I am not the real Author.  I am simply a chosen hand to pen these chosen words and walk a chosen path that leads to One.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.  For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.”

2 Corinthians 1:3-5

“No amount of impossibility can be weighed against His desire to heal His people.” p57

Copies of SHE BLED may be ordered by clicking HERE.

or email arburk25@yahoo.com

A Better Place to Be

This past spring we held a ladies retreat that was more than we could have imagined.  God left us in awe at His weaving together a perfect plan and His gracious redemption.  Many ladies asked for another retreat “soon” so they could bring their loved ones.  My husband and I prayed, set aside a fall weekend to host the next retreat and began promoting.  We went into it open to God’s will whether the retreat would take place or not.  The deadline came for signing up and many ladies who wanted to come were not able for one reason or another.  I hesitated to cancel the weekend with fear of letting people down, but knew with few attendees we simply couldn't have it. 

 

“Maybe there’s somewhere else He needs us to be.” 

My husband’s words came with an overwhelming sense of peace and a whispered ‘yes’ in my heart.  I knew it was the right thing to do and we decided to wait until next spring to have our next retreat.  If I’m honest I was a little disappointed, but God was allowing me the opportunity to surrender to His will and understand that His plans are greater than mine.  After all, we prayed about this weekend for weeks, so surely there was somewhere else God intended for us to be. 

I expected “big things” to happen in place of the retreat that weekend.  I really did. 

I expected there to be some WOW moment that made the reason for changed plans clear. 

But that weekend that we left open for God to take us where He needed us to be…

 

 

We visited an older couple who have become precious friends over the years. 

We took time to have conversations about fears and needed prayers.

We took the kids to a corn maze, rode a hayride, fed the “moo-tows” and had a picnic with a beautiful view of God's glory displayed through the autumn leaves. 

On another day, we brought home four new girls to our hen house that we have anxiously been waiting for.   Then we went to the farm and had dinner with my husband’s parents. 

We took the kids to ride bikes on the new cement feeding pad and watched the stars. 

And we laughed...a lot.

 

The transition between summer and fall always proves a busy season in our lives.   This year we have been vacationing, beginning a year of homeschool, starting up a new business, finishing projects, gathering and preserving a harvest, in the midst of raising three kids.  All good things, all blessings God has graciously provided but in all our good doing, we needed time to just be.    

When our good doing outweighs our simply being, we are left exhausted and emptied.  And does this world truly need more exhausted, emptied, burnt-out, run-dry, do-it-yourself Christ-claimers? 

Or is what this world needs truly those who have learned to live life to the full and live it well and breathe it in deep? Because what it needs are those who not only claim-Christ but who outwardly live like Christ.  Those who aren’t afraid to vulnerably show a dependence on a mighty God to get through their days. 

So in all this I was reminded that He knows our hearts, the very depths of our beings and what is needed there.  He knows that “big things” and “WOW moments” are found in the times we slow down to breathe in this life He has given, more so than the times the world defines as grand. 

 

 

 

Take time to breathe. 
Don't get in such a hurry to do more that you miss the blessing of the moment.
 

In all your busyness, maybe God has a better place for you to be. 

 

“So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad.  Then joy will accompany his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun.”  Ecclesiastes 8:15

Worshiping In Capes

A few weeks ago we traveled with our youth group to Indiana to attend the Engage Youth Conference.  Indiana Wesleyan University was our home away from home for five days.  Three of those evenings involved a theme and one of the themes was “Super Hero.”  We all dressed up, some of us far more so than others, and filed into the auditorium for the evening session. 
 

 

As we stood several rows back from the other leaders in our group, the music changed from upbeat to more of a somber prayer, yet there we all stood worshipping a Holy God in costumes that were every bit ridiculous.  Some had capes, some masks, others had fully-padded suits.  I watched as the room of "super-heroes" lifted their hands to praise and I thanked God for receiving us just as we are.  A few rows in front of us I noticed a friend who, fully dressed in a face-mask and cape, knelt beside her husband in prayer.  When it comes down to it, super-heroes or not, there is only One God capable of rescuing us.  All “super-hero’s” and “super-figures” must bow before the One King. 

Now we’re settled back into home and God reminded me of that moment in worship.

      Was I trying to be a super hero in my own life? 

     Was he asking me to come before Him, to fix my eyes on Him and let Him be the Hero of my story? 

Because far too often I want to take matters into my own hands and put things in order to my own timing.  I’m guilty of spending too much time whining and anxiously waiting and wondering instead of trusting.  As a mom, a wife, a friend…

When my kids struggle with the pains of growing and learning life as it is, I want to swoop in with my red sequin “super-mom” headband and make it easier.  I want to create the perfect day of homeschool, the clean house, and the full-course meal and do it all while folding my laundry, paying our bills, tending to the garden and preserving the harvest.  But most days I utterly fail to live up to all these unrealistic aspirings.

When so many close to us are receiving diagnosis after diagnosis and we’re all a little shocked by the weight of it all, I want so badly to have the right words or prayers or actions to be “super-anything” that might make it better.  I want to have a “super-guarantee” that it will all turn out as we selfishly expect, but as a room full of hundreds got on our knees before God to lift these concerns, He whispered just what it was I am to expect: the eternal.  He didn’t guarantee the cancer would be healed or the unresponsive would respond but He does guarantee eternal life for all those who believe.  In the eternal, there is no terminal, there is only life.

We all do it in one way or another.  We pick up the capes and try to rescue ourselves from all that seems out of our control.  But what if we just took a moment to pause, to stop in the middle of it all and worship the One who is over it all. 

                The One who is able to heal.

                The One who is in control when all seems vastly out of control.

                The One who cares about every detail and knows the inmost places of our hearts.

                The One who goes before us and makes a way that transcends time.

                The One who sees far beyond our earthbound perspective and into eternity.

                The One who promised to never leave us nor forsake us. 

 

He reigns above all that weighs us down: the insecurity, the cancer, the diagnosis, the unexpected, the mundane, the waiting, the process, the heartbreaks, the depression, the unresponsive, the bad day, the job loss…

We can’t save ourselves. 

But there is rescue, there is a Savior, there is Jesus. 

And at the end of the day, no matter what we may face, Jesus remains. 

Eternity set in our hearts to save us forever.

May we be a people who expect the eternal, who pray boldly that no matter how hard it is or what road lies ahead, that eternity may be the answer.  Let our desire be that Jesus would win every heart and every soul involved regardless of the earthly cost.  May we learn to stop reaching for capes and begin reaching for grace.  May we understand that all our wall-scaling is useless and the only place we belong is on our knees before the cross of the One who already did the saving.  He is able and He is mighty to save.
 

 

“I do not trust in my bow, my sword does not bring me victory; but you give us victory over our enemies, you put our adversaries to shame.  In God we make our boast all day long, and we will praise your name forever.  Selah.”

Psalm 44:6-8

 

“God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks.  It’s a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God…When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself.  Enter the silence.  Bow in prayer.  Don’t ask questions:  Wait for hope to appear.”  Lamentations 3:25-29 MSG

To Live On Love

“You can’t live on love.”

With good intentions that was advice given just over 10 years ago and this stubborn heart set out to marry her best friend, determined to prove that statement wrong.

Over the past 10 years we have learned just what it means to live on love and there have been times when love is all we’ve lived on. 

 

The first years were rough ones, we faced loss and disappointment and life head on.  Love was something we thought we knew all about, a verb that we blissfully and naively stepped into.  For some time, we got the majority of it all wrong. We allowed circumstances and others opinions and late notices and burnt dinners and unpacked boxes to define our life together.   The tangible art of two lives becoming one was messier than we anticipated, dirtier than either of us cared to admit, and harder than we ever thought possible.  We went from a spirit of “conquering the world together” to one of “how in the world did it turn out like this?”  We took the love that God planted and grew and tended to for years before we said “I do” and we squandered it away.  We blamed each other for our own shortcomings, we were stubborn and unwilling to budge, we wept silently over stacks of bills, we placed burdens on one another that we should have relieved, we held grudges when we could have redeemed, we were critical and quick to point out something when it didn’t go our way. 

We had love, we wanted to understand love, but we did it all wrong. 

There was a defining period of time when we, like the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32), came walking back to our Father.  When we realized we had to go back to where we began or we’d lose it all, so we turned it all around and He met us there. 

God met us in the mess that we were.  He lavished us with this grace-filled kind of love that is only through His own heart.  He showed us what love was really all about and how aside from Him, we would never get it right. 

 

“Marriage is a crucifixion and you aren’t meant to survive it.”

Charles Stanley

 

We took our love back to the cross, and allowed our-single-selves to be crucified in order that our-married-selves could live as one.  When our marriage remains grounded in Christ, it cannot be undone.  Ten years later and we have this imperfect, beautiful, moment-by-moment grace LOVE that we do not take for granted.  We have learned that it is not our circumstances or others or bills or dinners or messes that define our life together but instead, is the undeserved sacrifice that is Christ.   Our marriage is to be a reflection of the ultimate marriage between Christ and His Church.  We still have shortcomings and we still get it wrong some of the time, we are far from perfect, but we extend grace and we stay hand in hand.  We hold our tongue when we’d like to shoot words. We allow our wills to bend and meet one another.  We are quicker to apologize and slower to allow feelings to speak over Truth.  We fix our eyes on the eternal and let go of the worldly things that don't matter.

This life is still rough and we still face loss and disappointment, immense amounts of it to be honest, but we understand it differently now.  We allow God to refine us through it and make good out of it.  We lean in close when life wants to pull us hard away.   It’s still messy and the sin is still dirty, but it is part of living and we are living ON LOVE and we are living IN LOVE. 

 

 

If there’s one solid Truth that I have learned in 10 years of marriage it is this:

 

You can’t TRULY LIVE without TRUE LOVE. 

“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”  John 10:10

 

 

 

Happy 10th Anniversary My Love. 

Thank you for being my very best friend through it all.

I Love You.  Always.

The Death of a Saint

Psalm 116:15 "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints."

It's been one year today since this dear old man went Home.  When I open the Bible that he gave me, I am brought to tears nearly every time as his scent still lingers there.  As I play his record, his song still sings over me just as it has since I was a brand new baby.  I still find his notes and long for his call to check in.  His memory seems to be everywhere I turn and my heart aches as I adjust to his earthly dwelling having passed.

But this death that I grieve...
                              the Lord sees as precious.

Precious is the one who falls asleep in Jesus (1 Thes. 4:13). 

Precious is one who believes he will be raised up on the last day (John 6:40). 

Precious is the one who did not waver through unbelief regarding the promises of God (Rom. 4:20-22). 

Precious is the one who was not ashamed of the gospel and who knew the power of God to save everyone who believes (Rom. 1:16). 

Precious is the one who let his light shine before men by living a generous life (Matt. 5:16). 

Precious is the one who freely gave because by grace he freely received (Matt. 10:8). 

Precious is the one who, in his weakness, went to Jesus to find rest for his soul (Matt. 11:28). 

Precious is the one whose testimony was Christ - who used his life to proclaim Jesus, even while facing death (1 John 2:2, 6).

So in this grieving, I will give thanks for I am confident that because of Christ, death does not have the victory or the final say.   I will give thanks for a life who put others above self and Christ above all else.

As we grieve those who have gone before us, may we rejoice in the work of Christ in their lives.  May it spur us on to faithfully run the race ahead of us, knowing our reward is beyond all this earth can hold.  May we find confidence and strength in the only Name that saves: Jesus.  May we live our lives in such a way that our death would be precious in the sight of the Lord.  Though our flesh may ache and grieve, may our souls be comforted in the promise of being reunited and, more importantly, of salvation to all who believe.

"I'd rather be in a deep, dark grave and know that my poor soul was saved, than to live in this world in a house of gold, deny my God and doom my soul.  What good is gold and silver too if your heart's not good and true. Sinner hear me when I say, fall down on your knees and pray."

Beautifully Broken Offering

There was Jesus. 

There was a woman.

She gave him all she had, broke it right there in His presence.

 

“While he was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard.  She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head…” 

Mark 14:3

There was Jesus.

There was a woman.

He received her offering, and he called it beautiful.

“She has done a beautiful thing to me.”  Mark 14:6

Her offering anointed him for the grave. 

Her offering rose as a fragrance to an Almighty God - a God who would choose a woman like us as frail, broken, human beings to anoint the Savior of the World. 

            Our brokenness literally put Christ in the grave. 
            Our offering our full selves is what made His death a beautiful thing.
            A death that He overcame. 

There needs to come a time when we do give up, when we call it quits to our own striving and our own doing and go running to our Father.  Because He has the answer, He sent the Answer.  For our arms to reach out and admit that we are such a mess, that we have fallen so far from all we are meant to be, that we’re undone and the unsaid is lingering too long. 

To know that when we pour ourselves out as a fragrant offering, no matter how broken or wrong or messed up we feel, we will be called beautiful.  The Savior sees, He knows, He has walked the same dirt-filled, sin-ridden streets we have walked, yet was without sin.  He is not far from our pain, our suffering, our grief, our shame, our death-like grave…

No, he is right there close and he wants you to come as you are. 

Broken.  Scared.  Wrecked.  Shamed.  Undone.

              At times it’s all we can do to just break before Him. 

              And it’s all that needs done because by His wounds it is finished.

 

“She did what she could.  She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial.”  Mark 14:8

There was Jesus.

There was a woman.

Grace was poured out from His very self as she poured out what she had to offer. 

               Grace from simple spoken words: She did what she could.

For this we are filled with gratitude and thanksgiving because there are no requirements for this relationship.  Our Father loves us for no good thing we have done, but for the solid Truth that for us, He sent his One and Only Son. 

He welcomes us to come and pour out ourselves – all that we are, all that we hide, all the places we feel we fall short and don’t measure up – and measure them against the cross.  The cross that absolutely covers all that we could possibly get wrong in our humanness.  The cross that held the Sacrifice so we could set aside ourselves and be free to receive His freedom gift. 

There’s this constant aching in our knees to bow to lower ourselves, and it’s the only posture in which we get it:  the magnitude of the weight that was carried for our sake.  When we come to the end of ourselves and cry out, the arms that stretched across the cross reach out in our despair and pull us up out.

Our debt is paid.

His shoulders are bigger than any burden we have or share. 

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.  We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.” 

2 Corinthians 4:8-11

 “Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.   Selah.” 

Psalm 68:19

We need to know that we can go to Him.  No matter what. 

There is no shame, there is no guilt, but only grace.

“I tell you the truth, he who believes has everlasting life.”  John 6:47

Twenty Nine

How did you spend the last day of your 20’s? 

You were woken up by a cranky, still sleepy, diapered little boy who just wanted his “Dada.”  Not in bed,   but on the couch because you have this terrible cough and, well, you know this mama needs her rest.  For that I love you all the more. 

They don’t happen often, nights we don’t sleep side by side, and when they do I miss you terribly.  But those nights remind me of this precious gift we have and how many lonely nights I waited for a best friend to share the quiet still of the night with.  Now I get to share them with you and I couldn’t be more thankful.

It was a simple morning and I made you eggs with peppers and ham and cheese, but you were too captivated by the view out the window to know your plate was waiting for you.  Because on the other side was our growing-up-too-fast boy, the boy that made us a mama and dada, who redefined who we were, just enjoying the fresh air and shooting his bow for his proud father to see.  You do that you know?   You slow down to see the moments that so many are too busy to take notice to and you soak them in. 

When it was time, you put on those dust stained jeans, buckled your worn leather belt and readied for work.  Today you happened to wear the original rust-orange “Burkholder Construction” sweatshirt from all those years ago.  It’s still hanging in there with not too much wear and tear.  I’m not sure how.  You kissed me, told me you loved me and made your way out the door to make a way for our family.  We do notice.  We don’t take your calloused hands for granted. 

 

The dust bothered your throat, yet you carried on.  In your working and searching for tools you found the sign of bees and went after your trap.  You took a moment to enjoy the wonder of it all – the buzzing of the bees, the signs of spring, the things that Farmer taught you – and then you ran for the forgotten cobbler.  Just in time, and perfectly done, you pulled it out of the oven to help the woman whose faith you have inherited. 

As you were there and we were here, we prayed for you and loved you and spoke of your upcoming day.  That sweet baby girl of yours, she wants to get you fake eyelashes for your birthday.  I’m certain if I allowed it, those would out-do the nail clippers she got you for Christmas.  She’s the most unique person I’ve ever met and mysterious in most of her ways.  But she knows whose arms will lift her high for one more dance and she loves you “to shreds.” 

It was time for you to leave work but not before stopping at the nearby farm to return a tool.  And there, you took the time to be an uncle.  A fun, loving uncle who plays in the mud and messes the sidewalk with chalk because it’s who you are to them and they love you so.  That little mud-covered hand held close to his face and of course you pushed it all the closer, and then you let him play the joke on you.  Boys being boys.  You being wonderful you.    

You came home early enough to catch up with me, with mud on your forehead you walked through the door, quietly as to not wake the sleeping babe.  But he knows his Daddy’s steps and his smile was wide and he climbed right up your dust-covered self to wrap his arms tight around your neck.  He squeezed with all his might and lingered there with you. 

It was a beautiful day today, a day that makes you beg for spring to break the cold, that reminds you that there is a break-through right around the corner.  They came running in to find you because more than anything they wanted someone to throw them the ball.  Out you went and from behind the walls I could hear the ping of the bat, the whoops and hollers of a homerun, the laughter and joy of a Daddy playing ball with his children.  Somehow, as we hurry to get from one thing to the next, you have this way of making time for the things that matter the most.  Somehow, you know when the time is needed and when the time is right. 

I had to leave and you watched over this house full of blessings that we call our own.  You served them dinner, dished out cake and fumbled your way through “Detectives In Togas.”  When I returned, our home was dimly lit and you were still hushing the littlest to sleep.  Oh, how blessed I am to be yours and to have you as mine.  You came walking down and could only muster one word: “kids.”  Yeah, they are exhausting but you are so good at raising them up right. 

As the night fell, we took the time to just plain be.  You kissed away my tears and reminded me of the strength we have in the One who is Faithful.  And we laughed…hard. 

Tomorrow you will be 30 and soon enough we will look back and think of how young this age is, even though it feels drastically old right now.  And as we do, I pray that the rain will have poured.  I pray that our nights are filled with the steady beat on a tin roof. 

May your character be known as a man of valor, a man who not only knows the Truth, but who responds to it.  May you always take the time to savor the moments and never let them pass you by. May you never settle for less than God’s best, know who He has called you to be and pursue it with all your heart.  By the grace of God may you say “no” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and live a self-controlled, upright and godly life.  May you become wiser than the wise old sages simply by doing what God tells you.  May you build things that last forever as you willingly lay down yourself for His use.  And may you always know how very much you are loved. 

Always. 

 

“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men.  It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope – the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.”

Titus 2:11-14

Fly Away Home

There are moments in our lives when we slow down and live like we are to live.  Moments when we breathe deep to just know we are breathing.  When we realize the fragility of our days being numbered, of our lives being but a mere breath, a blinking of an eye.  Because when the ones we love dearly are so close to grasping the hand that formed them, we soak in every moment knowing any moment will be their very last.

There we all gathered, soaking in, breathing deep, bending over to gently move her snow white hair, to hold her frail hand, to pour our love out to the sweet soul readying for Home.  Because deep in us we know it is time.

There she lay in her earthly tent longing to be clothed in her heavenly dwelling.  She was all tucked in under the warm green blanket.  One after another leaning in close, tears flowing into the crisp sheets, every one pressing hard into a God who faithfully bottles every tear.  And there it was, just hanging above her bedside, catching my eye over and over...

A picture of a monarch butterfly, all in its beauty, all just a moment from taking flight.

Isn't it true of the lot of us Christ-followers?  We are tethered here to this ground as we daily transform to the likeness of Christ.  We are bound and wrapped by the in and out of what we call life and living: days we feel our burdens pressing tight against our hearts that long to fly free; days when we feel all but trapped in constant pushing and pulling of hardship and trial;  days when our beauty feels too hidden, too far away from anything worthy of glory; days when we feel we hang by so little, that we may break down, and in the breaking down, maybe break through...

Then, one day our day comes.  That sacred moment we break forth our wings and prepare to fly away.  We make it there to the moment we have pressed on toward and just like that...

 We fly away Home.

To find peace in knowing that our wings take flight high above any hardship, any pain, any suffering, any thing this world has to offer. 

We fly to the One calling, now being able to reflect all the glory of Him. 

"Well, this is part of life I guess..."

The old Farmer he holds on tight, strong and sure, and eyes glazed.  His mama sure did raise good ones.  Then he whispers God-words right into my ear...

"I love you... always."

Yes. He loves us. Always.  

And it is through these times of deep sorrow that we need that Truth to ring loud and clear.  Those are the words that will help us find our wings. Those are the words that will lead us Home.

"We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at Home with the Lord."

2 Corinthians 5:8

"I'll fly away, oh glory, I'll fly away
When I die, hallelujah by and by, I'll fly away
Some bright morning when this life is over, I'll fly away
To a land on God's celestial shore, I'll fly away
When the shadows of this life have grown, I'll fly away
Like a bird from these prison walls, I'll fly away
Oh how glad and happy when we meet, I'll fly away
No more cold iron shackles on my feet, I'll fly away
Just a few more weary days and then, I'll fly away
To a land where joy will never end, I'll fly away."

"I'll Fly Away"