He does it almost every time – seeks after me, like a man of
the field whose gaze is held by the amazing creation of his God. When the door or the curtain closes, he opens
them wide, looking for his lover, longing for a moment. When my heart is troubled and my eyes ready
to weep, he simply says it, a few simple words and the flood of it all pours out. He just looks back at me, compassionately
letting the rushing waters pass until the stillness comes and I am me again and
I can breathe. When my thousand words
come up short and leave me searching, he whispers one single line that shatters
the darkness. He
finds me in a room full and he draws me ever so close, where comfort is found
and felt.
Somehow he looks past all that is distracting in the present places and sees a beauty
that is held only for him. He seeks the
treasure that is always changing, because his love for me refuses to change. As my body stretches and scars and wears, like
a seeker, he holds it like something more precious than gold. Through the mess, he finds a life lived at his side: through
the better and through the worse; a life who has held life and who has let go
of life – lives we’ve loved, lives we’ve created, life as we have known it time
and again. He finds unpolished nails of
the one who is far from polished in any way – but whose hands gently tend to
their young, bake his meals, trace the lines of his palms, and knead the aches in
his back. He finds the real me under all
the layers of ugly pride and defiance.
And when life throws a wall our way and we hit it straight on, his is
the hand whose grasps mine and reaches out to God.
All this searching for me that he has
done relentlessly for the past fourteen years, this pursuit he is on that he
will not give up on, it’s done by grace because I don’t deserve it. I don’t often feel like a treasure worth being
uncovered, unearthed. But it’s how he sees me, the real me and I don't need to deserve it because it's something he chooses to give.
It was all resting right under the surface, but it wasn't yet clear. I knew God was trying
to speak through this man I love so dearly but so many other voices were too
loud and I couldn’t hush them. Then in
the darkness of the night, he did it, he spoke it, the river ran and maybe
peace could be found.
Then it came, highlighted in pink, underlined in blue, to
get it across and speak it loud, God seeking this unsettled heart:
“For the Lord delights in you and will claim
you as his own.”
Isaiah
62:4
My heart breathed deep the sigh of relief, because in the
mess of it all, through all the questions and wonderings and wanderings – our God
seeks. He seeks us, delights in us and claims us as his own.
I read on, because I couldn’t read enough, the words kept coming,
the hope kept flooding and then the last verse of 62 stopped me, pounded
through my heart, it breathed life into the silence. The words that whispered louder than
everything else, that brought all that I had been seeing into the open and made
it clear:
“They will be called a Holy People, the Redeemed
of the LORD;
and you will be called Sought After…”
Isaiah
62:12and you will be called Sought After…”
I am Sought After.
Not only by my husband, but by the God of the Universe. The God who seeks me even more passionately
than the fierce passion of my love, my love who loves me straight like a Song
of Songs. The God whose entire love
letter to us all is written from Genesis to Revelation, every word breathed upon
in love and mercy.
You are Sought After.
You may not feel like one worthy of a seeker, but you have
One and He is relentless in His pursuit.
Yes, relentless in chasing after that heart inside of yourself that feels
like it can barely beat one more time.
He sees right past all the things that have messed us up, have undone us
thoroughly and He finds a treasure worth finding. His pursuit is not something we can earn or one that few of us deserve, it is something He longs to freely give to each one willing to be found.
You are worthy of a
Seeker.
Worthy of being
discovered and treasured. Worthy of being found.
“For the Son of Man came to seek and to
save what was lost.”
Luke
19:10
“…can you imagine the breathtaking
recovery life makes, sovereign life, in those who grasp with both hands this
wildly extravagant life-gift, this grand setting-everything-right, that the one
man Jesus Christ provides?”
Romans
5:17
I got into the car for a quick trip
to the store. It was a rare occasion
when I could be found by myself and just like the man who, when I’m alone,
finds me to capture a moment, there He was.
His voice whispering and being heard.
His words singing the anthem of where my heart rests:
“I believe everything that You say You are
I
believe and I have seen Your unchanging heart
In the good things and in the hardest part
I
believe and I will follow YouIn the good things and in the hardest part
I believe and I will follow You.”
Breathe in, be still and let yourself be found
by the One Savior who bears the scars of death overcome to bring you life,
by the One Faithful Father who holds you as the apple of His eye,
by the One Mighty King who is sovereign and claims you as His own,
