Over the weekend our Jack Russell, Buster passed away. Earlier in the week he suddenly got very sick, we aren’t sure the reason, but by the time we realized it there was nothing that could help him. It's been quite a long week of ups and downs but we are thankful that he is no longer suffering. It's been a heartbreaking week but God has taught both Randy and I some profound lessons through this. My biggest one came the morning of the last day he was with us and Id like to share it.
It was early morning before anyone else had woken up. Occasionally I could hear our pup in the other room while I was trying to focus on my quiet time. This was a constant reminder of "Yes I'm still here, I'm still sick and there is nothing you can do for me". The feeling was horrible, of there being nothing I could do for him. My heart also breaking for my little boy who was soundly sleeping but would soon be losing his buddy. I kept trying to read my Bible and work on my study, it wasn’t working very well. Then I realized something - although we love him dearly, this was just a dog (as Randy’s pap says "It's better in the barn than in the home"). The helplessness and hurt that I was feeling was a mere fraction to the parents all over this world in this same position but with children. Children where no medical help is available and where it may be available, can not be afforded. Parents helplessly holding their babies, waiting for better or for worse, something to happen. Something to take away the suffering, be it a miracle or death. I also thought of the siblings that watch as the one they love loses his/her life and I can not even imagine. Then I noticed the pictures of Marino and Cigan (our sponsor boys) hanging on the refrigerator and I thought of them. Sitting in our warm, cozy, safe homes we have absolutely no idea what they are going through. We have no idea what is going on in their countries or what their young, innocent eyes have seen. We have no idea the hurt that they face regularly, hurt far deeper than a family pet. I just sat quietly, letting God open my eyes and break my heart to the real things in this world. This was just one lesson, my biggest, that this week has brought.
That evening, around the same time Buster left us, the first snow began to fall. Many are complaining about this snow but my sweet boy has been praying for God to let it snow for the past month! We continually tell him that it is too early for snow. But who are we to determine that?! With God, all things are possible! The next day we woke up to about 5 inches of it! Peyton was thrilled! It comforted my heart to know that although his little heart would indeed be hurt by the loss of his buddy, God gave him something else to focus on. Something that he has been wishing for and wanting so badly and that brought pure joy to his heart.
Even though our pup is no longer with is, he has left a lasting impression on our hearts. He lived his little life to the fullest and nothing could hold him back (if you knew Buster, you understand exactly what I mean!!). I will let that serve as a reminder to me to live my own life in the same way. There's been tears and heartache but God has blessed us with eternal things to take from this. He has amazed me again with what His hand can do.
For those of you who have recently had a loved one die, for those of you who are going through a trial or waiting period in your life, whatever it may be, know that God loves you. God loves you with an individual, personal, everlasting, unfailing love. He knows your heart and He hears your cry. There will be pain in this world but if we fix our eyes on Him, He will comfort us and carry us through. “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV) I encourage you to open your heart and allow God to teach you the eternal lessons that can come from the pains and joys of this life! We have so much to learn but the One Who teaches us is all-knowing! He is searching for willing hearts to speak to that are ready to hear His voice.
“I am the Good Shepherd; I know my own sheep and my own sheep know me…My sheep recognize my voice. I know them, and they follow me. I give them real and eternal life. They are protected from the Destroyer for good. No one can steal them from out of my hand. The Father who put them under my care is so much greater than the Destroyer and Thief. No one could ever get them away from him.” John 10: 14, 27-29 (MSG)
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