Admist A Mess

Country music played in the background as we stood around the kitchen table preparing the meat from a deer.  This isn’t a pretty process nor is it one I look forward to each year.  This time it was particularly difficult being pregnant.  My stomach isn’t as strong as it normally is and my body was aching from standing.  My mind was in a different place and I was only allowing myself to go through the motions and get the job done.  I have found myself in this same situation within my spiritual life - going through the motions and not wanting to face the task or circumstance laid before me.  I have a tendency to set aside my true emotions to “get the job done” or “get to the other side” when I don’t feel that I’m strong enough or when pain is involved.

A song came on the radio that I haven’t heard for a long time called “Remember When” by Alan Jackson.  The song reminisces about the rich, fulfilling life and change of seasons that a married couple has gone through.  It’s always been one of my favorites.  In the middle of this less than romantic setting, my husband came to me, put his arms around me and began to sway along to music.  We danced and the lyrics of the song took us both back to so many memories, past and current, of all we’ve been through and also allowed us to dream of the days we have ahead.  It didn’t matter what surrounded us in our kitchen or how it all appeared.  What mattered right there was us - the beautiful life we’ve created amidst the circumstances we’ve faced and the deep hurts we’ve felt.

The song ended and we went back to the table to finish the job only this time I had a change in my heart and my perspective.  I was no longer “checked out”, trying to avoid the mess in front of me.  I had been missing out on so much.  Now, I looked beyond the mess to see my faithful and loving husband, two beautiful and silly kids, a God who has provided me with so much, even the food before us and just within my sights my ever-growing belly, a glimpse of the future ahead of us.

I am so thankful for a loving Father who, in the middle of our mess, wraps us in His warm embrace and reminds us that we aren’t alone in this life we dance through.  

What mess do you find yourself in the midst of?  Are you checked out, in avoidance of the circumstances you face and afraid of what may happen if you choose to feel?  

Choose to dance with your Father Who loves you and Who is pursuing your heart.  Get lost in Him so that when the messes of life arise, you can find your focus on the blessings around you and have the courage to move forward knowing you are not alone.


“Oh, thank God - he’s so good!  His love never runs out.  All of you set free by God, tell the world!… So thank God for his marvelous love, for his miracle mercy to the children he loves…it’s time you appreciated God’s deep love.”  
Psalm 107:1, 8, 43

“The Lord is my strength and my song” Psalm 118:14

“Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.  My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.”  Psalm 63:7-8