A Bad Day

Earlier this week, I had a bad day and let my emotions get to me.  Nothing happened in particularly to cause it, nothing that I could draw an excuse for my poor attitude from.  The kids were not behaving, our house was a wreck, our puppy isn’t doing well with “training”, I couldn’t put a thought together to save myself and I think you get the idea!  I was feeling out of control of my responsibilities, overwhelmed, under appreciated, and mostly - unable.  I became frustrated and angry.

When we clean, I usually turn on the radio - it’s a perfect opportunity for the kids and I to sing, dance and worship God.  I began cleaning so I thought that turning on the music would help turn around my bad attitude.  Guilty is how it left me feeling - unworthy to even hear the singing of praises to my Heavenly Father.  This only added to my frustration.  I turned the radio off.  Not long after, I had to “put myself in a time-out.”  I went to the corner of the couch, where I could be alone so that I didn’t regret speaking out of anger to my kids.  Still nothing changed.  I sent my husband a message, telling him how mad I was (not at him) and all the other feelings that were coming along for the ride.  I thought that if I shared my thoughts with someone that maybe it would help.  It didn’t and I found out later he never even received the message.  I got off the couch, tried again and failed miserably.  I went to my bedroom, got out my “The Power of Speaking God’s Word” book, laid on my bed and turned to the topic of  “Anger.”  I read a dozen verses and nothing.  Still no attitude change.  Again, this added to my frustration.

The day continued on.  That evening, the kids went outside to play and I was finishing cleaning up the house.  I decided to try music one more time.  I turned on a cd of old hymns (I have no idea why I chose this either) and began to scrub the kitchen floor.  The hymns brought back precious memories of my grandma, who has passed away, and my uncle John who sang them when I was a child. As they played, my soul sang along and my mood began to change.

Maybe I got on my hands and knees for one reason - to scrub, but I believe my Father had different intentions.  I believe he knew that on my hands and knees, a place of humility, is where I was most vulnerable.  It was there that I let my emotions go and focused on the praises of my God.  When we focus on Jesus, His light shines forth and darkness must flee.

I don’t like to share that I was so angry and unwilling to put my focus where it needed to be for that day but it’s real.  As parents we’re told to “look at the messes as a reminder that your children are healthy and active.”  Which does hold some truth, I’ve even said it myself.  But, in reality, those messes can easily make us feel like we’re failing.  As Christians we’re told to “combat those negative emotions with Scripture.”  We should do this but, it isn’t always as easy as it sounds.  The key is persistence.

I realize that many people are fighting a battle far greater than a messy house or a bad day.  There’s disease, divorce, uncertainty, loss, despair, and so on.  No matter what you’re facing, keep pressing forward into God even when you aren’t sure He’s listening.  At the right time, God will place you where He wants you and when your focus is on Him - His light will flood the darkness.

“…let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”  Hebrews 12:1

“Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.”  1 Chronicles 16:11