Each Day At a Time

I prayed over his little self as he fell back asleep, the littlest one who turned his cheeks and glanced up at me before closing his blue eyes.  He looked just like he did the day I held him close in the hospital, brand new, breathing it all in with my heart overflowing over a year ago.  It seemed like yesterday.  He’s the third and with each one time just keeps going faster.  I can’t keep up with them and the days that seem, in the moment to drag on forever, are gone in the blink of an eye.   So I prayed, then I thought of not only him but all of them.

The blonde haired, freckle faced little “sister” who was the baby of the whole lot of us cousins will be putting on her white gown, holding her Daddy’s arm and walking down the aisle in just a few days.  The ones now driving.  The graduate.  The Navy boy.

And then there’s my own.  Knowing that our oldest only has a few more years of this curious, wild-eyed, boyhood left.  Our sweet little princess who just twirls and twirls in her dresses and still splashes in the puddles.  And our baby boy.  How does a Mama do it?  How does she take it all in and even then, how does she survive it?  How does she make it through raising them and how does she let go?

As I was reminded of my calling to these lives I counted the years left of school.   17 years of being their teacher ahead of me.  All those years to remain steadfast and strong, to teach and to mold and to help them become each their own.  The majority of my days for all those years to raise them to go out into the world as a light for Him. 

Who am I?

I ask the same words as Moses (Exodus 3:11).  Beg God to tell me who I am to have the honor and the privilege to grow and birth and raise three of His children.  In His love and grace, He gently reminds me of the very words my hand wrote on the red paper for the graduate:

 

“Never be afraid to fail, you are capable of so much more than you know.

And God is ABLE.

Remain rooted and grounded in Him.

Change the world pretty girl, one heart at a time.”

 

It’s not about who I am at all.  It’s about Who He Is.

As I imagined the day they will drive, graduate, marry, I echoed the words of my friend: “I’m not ready for that yet.”  You may be quick to tell me I have plenty of time to get ready, but I don’t.  Because none of those mama’s were ready for their babies to fly the nest.  It is by the absolute grace of God that they allow it.  The meltdown came with the thought of it all, the milestones, the memories, the inability to grasp it or even understand it, the time that seems like it may never get here and the same that I know is only moments away. 

But as the overwhelming weight of it all felt like it just might consume me, He reminded me of the words I heard the Farmer say to the Navy boy as they parted ways:

"We take each day as it comes, it’s all we can do."

Each day as it comes.  For the Navy boy leaving again after a short visit home, to go back to the call to serve his country, his family, his God. 

Each day as it comes.  For the Farmer driving his love back to their farm, to the comforts of home and simplicity.  Where he serves his country, his family, his God. 

 
Each day as it comes.  For this Mama going back to a house still full.  The glorious mundane, where I serve my country, my family, my God. 

 

Because it is all we can do. 

He is the Great I AM who knows the how behind the seemingly impossible.   We stay rooted and grounded in the One who is able, and we serve with His Love, flowing through us and into every life around us. 

We serve our country: by our willingness to sacrifice our lives and enlist or by the raising up right of the ones who will come after us.

 

We serve our family: by giving and loving and being a light through the likeness of Christ in our thoughts, motives, actions and prayers.

We serve our God: by laying down our own, temporary lives to walk in His eternal plan. 

 All by His Amazing Grace.

Each day at a time, one heart at a time.

 

 

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

2 Corinthians 12:9