If social media had a brick and mortar building, I’m fairly
certain most Christians could be found outside of it with their pickets in hand
shouting “There is no gray!” Every other
headline seems to read some insinuation of that. With good intentions Christians make their
stand against a film that currently has everyone talking. I’ve never read the book, I’ve never seen the
trailer for the film, but I’ve seen enough to get the idea of what “50 Shades
of Grey” is about.
And I may stand as one but I am here to tell you church: You are going about “the grey” the wrong way.
Let me be clear: There
is a gray.
Sex by God’s design is black and white, there is right and
there is wrong. But sex in our culture
has the most shades of gray ever to exist.
By turning a blind eye and chanting “no gray,” you are simply taking a
stand on a podium high and lofty above every other sinner and casting judgment
in a place that isn’t yours to take. It
isn’t something new to anyone that God doesn’t promote pornography or abuse and
it isn’t new to anyone that Christians would be the first to make their stand
against such things.
But church, please hear my plea: you are missing the hearts behind the hurt.
“But Jesus went to the
Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared
again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he
sat down to teach them. The teachers of
the law and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said
to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law of Moses commanded us to stone
such women. Now what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap, in
order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down
and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept questioning him, he
straightened up and said to them. “If
any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at
her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on
the ground.
At this, those who
heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus
was left, with the woman still standing there.
Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one
condemned you?”
“Then neither do I
condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now
and leave your life of sin.”
There is a gray area and the church is casting stones when
we should be extending grace. And this
is about so much more than a movie. These
shades of gray that have been labeled as “soft porn” and “accepted abuse” are
found everywhere in a culture that has grown complacent and acceptant of sin.
Did you watch the Super Bowl? The
Grammy’s? Even if you sat down for evening television, you’ve witnessed all
that which you are casting stones for. All
the gray you speak against is right before your eyes, in primetime television,
in the latest song, on nearly every shelf of every movie-store. God created us to live perfectly, intimately
with one another as man and woman and also with Himself. But, in the garden we fell and with that fall
came the gray area. We are all sinners, in desperate need of grace. Jesus didn’t come to condemn the world,
but to save the world. Jesus didn’t come
to condemn your sin, he came to pull you right up out of the pit of it and to
save your life from it (Psalm 40:1-2). As a church, as the body of Christ, as His
followers, we need to get bold enough to face this shaded gray area for what it is. We need to find the courage to be honest
about what it is and get out of it. We
need to find courage to admit to one another that we have struggled too,
that pornography had
once had a grip,
that lust had pulled
us away from our true love,
that we had given
ourselves away in desperation,
that we have taken
advantage
or that we have allowed ourselves to be taken advantage of...
wherever we once were. Because we all have in some way
fallen short of the pure intimacy we were created for. It’s time the church gets humble and bows low
before the God who rescued them. It’s
time we are no longer quick to forget just how far we have been carried by arms
that stretched across Calvary. If we are
going to be bold enough to throw a stone, why not be bolder and set down the
stones so we can reach out a hand to help rescue the bleeding and broken hearts
from the sin that they know. To say
I’ve been there,
I understand,
You were made for so
much more,
You have not done too
much or gone too far,
You’re not alone and
I will help you find your way.
We serve this Amazing Creator who is able to create all things new. Even our sex lives, even our passions, even
our deepest longings and desires. And
while others turn away, labeling those living in the gray as dirty, unclean and
unworthy, our Savior extends His grace. Our
Savior walks right into the gray and says “I see you, I know you, I love you
and we’re getting you out of here.” He
let the adulteress walk away un-stoned with the command to leave her life of sin. She
was drug in a sinner, full of shame and disgrace, expecting to be cast off and
she walked away as a woman whose brokenness was seen, whose heart was desired,
who was forgiven and set free.
Let us not be quick to forget that those stuck in the gray
are in desperate need of Saving Grace.
They are there for a reason – searching, longing for their hearts to be
seen, sought after and desired. May we
find the courage to help lead them out of it, not condemn them for being in it. The church is full of those who have once
lived in the gray, who still struggle to find freedom from the gray, as well as
those who have found victory over the darkness and it’s time we humbly stand
and reach out our hands.
The Truth about sex is black and white, it is a gift to be
shared with one. Intimacy with God
requires that we have no other gods before him.
Intimacy with our spouse is just the same – there should be no-one and
no-thing else involved. It is a sacred
gift to give ourselves in love and in passion.
Society is wrought with other ways, all lies that pull us apart instead
of bringing us together and we must not settle for it. When the enemy has a foothold on what is
sacred in ourselves, our lives become formed around guilt and shame. When the enemy has a foothold on the bedroom
of marriage the whole family suffers, because it is in the intimate moment of oneness
that unity is strengthened. The truth is
black and white, there is no in between, it is clear: intimacy is a gift to be protected, valued, honored, and respected. It is to be shared with one: to be given and
to be received, freely and openly, without reserve. Anything clouded, any shade otherwise, is settling
for less-than when there is an offer for more.
Because His love is free, His bounty is endless and through Him all
things are possible.
We need to turn away from media and turn back into our
bedrooms, back into God’s holy union. We
need to search God’s Word to relearn intimacy as we were created for it. We need to stop turning to our circle of
friends with our frustrations and start turning toward one another in
forgiveness. We need to stop hiding our
fears and our failures and start looking to the one we share this life for
encouragement and new mercy. And loved
one, we need to start extending the same forgiveness that we were given by
Christ, because this life and our lovers faults are not about us at all, he or
she deserves respect – no matter what. We
need to stop carrying the weight of our past into the bedroom and work out our
faith to leave the baggage at the cross. We need to start getting on our knees, side by
side, before God and asking for restoration.
We need to start believing in a God who is more than Able to bring full
healing, full restoration and full redemption to all that was once lost and broken
in our lives: spiritually, emotionally and physically. Because sex is more than physical, it is
spiritual and emotional and requires our full presence and a full God. We need to get brave and responsible and
teach our kids about Godly sex and stop letting the world parent our greatest
blessings. We need to teach this
generation to live with genuine Christian
conviction, to stand strong and to bow low.
To not only recognize the sin, to not only call out the sin, but to be
even braver and reach out to the sinner.
Church, we need to get this gray thing right, lives depend on it. Jesus came to bring us life to the full in
every way (John 10:10). If we are true
followers of Jesus, we will live to bring life as well. Stop chanting “no gray”, because the gray is
very real, there are hearts and souls living there who need the light of Jesus
in us to guide them out. Be the light,
reach the sinner, and humble yourselves to recognize your own sins and work out
your own faith with conviction (Phil. 2:12-13).
May we be a people who lays down our stones, who lavishes grace and who
walks away from our lives of sin. May we recognize the lost, the hurting, and
the searching and guide them to Rescue.
Lord, may your Truth
prevail as the enemy wages war on something so treasured. I refuse to conform to the patterns of this
world and to accept anything less than the beauty you created within my heart
and my body. Illuminate your Word that I
may know clearly how you designed intimacy to be shared. May I look to you to renew my deepest
longings, my passions, and my desires.
You are the Author of miracles and of all things new, restore me Lord in
the sacred places, that I may share this gift with one. Help me to lay down the wounds of my past at the
foot of the cross, knowing your love covers it all, that I may love freely,
deeply, and without restraint. Thank you
for this gift that burns like a blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Amen.
“Marriage should be
honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure…”
Hebrews 13:4
“But I tell you anyone
who looks at a woman lustfully has already
committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Matthew 5:28
“Turn to me and be
gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish.
Look upon my affliction and my distress and
take away all my sins.”
Psalm 25:16-18
“If we claim to be
without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and
just and will forgive us
our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
1 John 1:8-9
