Bringing Ginger Ale Home

It’s the message that everyone knows the real meaning of and I can assure you is most dreaded by parents:  Can you bring home ginger ale?

The three of us mamas sat together over ice-cream where no small hands were trying to steal a bite.  We really covered much in our brief conversation, women have a way of doing that that’s fit enough for an Olympic sport.  We happened to be talking about sickness and the two others shared how their girls had recently been sick while I was utterly thankful that so far our kids had skipped out on this.  But no sooner did the thought cross my mind did the text for ginger ale come through.  My husband updated me briefly on the situation at home, our littlest was the one in need but for the moment everything was under control. 

The girls and I continued our evening, but my mama heart was concerned for my little fella and for Daddy who was holding down our fort.  I trusted he would let me know if I needed to come home right away and I also trusted that he was fully capable of handling our children, even if one was sick.  But after some time passed I checked in to see how things were and received no response, then that trust began to waver.  I wondered why I hadn’t heard from him and imagined that if he hadn’t reassured me everything was okay, then everything clearly could not have been okay! 

I headed home and picked up ginger ale on my way, all while picturing the scene that might unfold as I walked through the door.  I was preparing myself to be scrubbing floors, juggling buckets and up all night.  I thought for sure there would be a huge sigh of relief when I walked through the door because help had arrived…

Instead, they were all watching a movie together.  They were at-ease and completely under control. 

I was greatly relieved but could hardly believe how unnecessary all my worrying, anxiousness and preparing had been.  I had every reason to trust my husband’s ability, which I do, but nevertheless my desire to be needed and to intervene caused my trust to seem faltering.

It didn’t take long for my Heavenly Father to open my eyes to see my heart reflected in this momentary scene of another day in parenting.  God has never given me any reason to not fully trust in His ability to work for my good, to come through, to amaze me…in fact He’s gone above and beyond to reveal Himself in God-size ways just how much I can trust Him.  Yet I falter. 

We tend to pick up the pieces and try to figure out the puzzle in our own way, create our own picture, do it ourselves.  We rush ahead and insist on intervening with our own help when our Father is completely under control, unphased by the circumstances that tempt to distract us.   How often do we take the part we are to do, think it may not be enough and from that point try to make it more elaborate and complex, more seemingly necessary to building the Kingdom? 

In Mark 4:35-40 Jesus asks his disciples to get in the boat to cross to the other side.  Without question they obediently follow but when the storm hits and waves break over the boat they panic.  They wake Jesus and accuse him of not caring if they drown, they allow a momentary trouble to distract them from their destination. 

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  Philippians 4:6-7

His Word makes it clear that we are not to worry or be anxious about anything.  We need to trust Him fully, knowing that our purpose and our position not only matter but make an eternal difference in the Kingdom of God.  It’s not up to our limited opinion to decide what needs to be done or how we should do it.  It’s up to our minds made up to follow God’s lead and be alert to the work of God surrounding us as we invest ourselves in His plan. 

So for the heart that feels like the “ginger-ale picker upper” in the Kingdom: Your part matters.

It may seem insignificant, unnoticed and unseen but it’s what the Father has asked and called you to do.  God doesn’t call you to busy you or keep you occupied until Kingdom come. He calls you in order to equip you to bring the Kingdom here to earth.  

God doesn’t need us to fulfill His plan, He wants us to be a part of His Story and to help lead others Home.  God desires for us to partner with Him and He will never turn away from a heart crying out to Him and for the soul pleading to be used by Him.  So don’t count yourself out, because when you feel purposeless you need to know that is a lie from the enemy who is out to destroy you.  You are loved by a God who created you on purpose, for a purpose and positioned you to live a life that impacts eternity.  Take care of the people and the things He has given you to care for today; love those He has surrounded you with in this moment; use your gifts, talents and abilities to bring glory to His Name; be present, be alert to His moving and follow His lead. 

 “Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.”  1 Corinthians 15:58

WalMart, Pajamas and Grace

I’m outnumbered every day.  When my husband leaves for work, there’s three tiny bodies with big, big lives filling up our home and one mama trying to keep up. This season, of having little ones that depend on you for most everything, is a rough one.  Yes, it is extremely rewarding with hugs and snuggles and being wanted, with seeing them grow and their personalities shine, but it is extremely exhausting.               

I used to be brave enough to take my kids along for grocery trips, but since having our third it doesn’t happen much anymore.  My husband and I loaded the kids up and went to WalMart.  They were worn out from the holiday and so were we but it was a trip we needed to take and for the most part everything was going smoothly.  We were on our way to check out, anxious to leave, and we forgot cereal.  My husband walked to the back of the store to pick it up while the kids and I continued on.  There we were, men’s clothing on one side and what seemed to be one-thousand-tempting-displays-of-sweets on the other.  I felt like a walking circus, as though the store hired me to be their customers’ source of entertainment for the evening.  It was ten minutes of out-numbering that seemed like an eternity.  Our youngest was protesting about being confined to the cart, he wanted Daddy back and he wasn’t going to wait.  Now we were wrestling.  Our oldest was admiring the sweets, laughing as he said “what about this one mom?”  He knew I was stressed and was trying to relieve me but it was having the opposite effect.  Then there was our little girl, she was dancing in her own world, carefree of who was watching, what was surrounding her or of anything else.  She twirled down the aisle as I directed her each time a cart needed to pass.  Her dancing was sweet but I couldn’t play the role of traffic director for much longer.  Ahead of us were two elderly women looking at pajamas right in the middle of the aisle.  They were unsteady on their feet and I surely didn’t want to risk squeezing pass them in what little room we had.  At the sound of my “traveling circus” they both looked up and watched us draw closer.  I rounded the kids close to the cart, which was more like corralling chickens and we stepped off to the side.  The ladies watched and to my surprise, smiles spread across their faces. 

 Grace. 

They walked on by, and as pleased as could be one turned to me and said “How are you doing Mom?!”  My heart was instantly relieved at their free giving of understanding, of kindness, of patience in two simple smiles and a few kind words.   I wanted to remember their glistening eyes, wide smiles and the one woman’s gentle voice.  I wanted to remember the grace that she passed to me in one quick exchange.  Because one day, when my kids aren’t so small, I will pass a mama with her hands and heart full.  I don’t want to treat her and her children as an inconvenience to me and my schedule, as so many do.  Because you see, us mamas of little ones do have our hands full and we are often outnumbered.  

You may wonder why she brought the kids along or why she doesn’t have help.  I have a loving and more-than-helpful husband but that other mama you may pass may be going it alone.  Maybe her and her husband work different shifts to help with the cost of childcare.  Maybe she doesn’t have a reliable support system.  She may be silently wishing she could have come shopping alone because it would be so much easier and faster that way.  I’ve done it before.

You may wonder why the kids aren’t in bed, but maybe this is the only opportunity she has to shop.  Maybe, just maybe, she chose to go late to avoid the glares of inconvenienced shoppers.  I’ve done it before. 

You think she could have at least got out of her pajamas but maybe she hasn’t had time to do laundry.  Maybe she chose to spend time helping with homework or singing a lullaby instead of bent over a washer.  Maybe she wore all her decent clothes earlier that week and spends little on herself in order to care for her kids.  Maybe she has had a week of sleepless nights and literally forgot to get dressed before leaving the house.  I’ve done it before. 

You judge her parenting because her kids are whining and loud but maybe it’s been a hard day for all of them.  Maybe they are well-behaved children who are simply having a bad day.  Maybe mama did appear a little more like a raging bull instead of the tender-hearted parent she is, maybe she’s stressed and exhausted.  I’ve done it before.

I’ve been “that” mama so many times, because it’s part of being a mama.  My kids have been “those kids” so many times, because it’s part of being a kid.  Whether it’s a mama or a dad – us parents are far from perfect.  And I don’t ever want to forget it.  Whether it’s a boy or a girl, an only child or a “quiver full” – those kiddos are far from perfect.  And I don’t ever want to forget it. 

Maybe that parent and those kids are everything you assume they may be – maybe they don’t mind that they haven’t showered in a week and wear their pajamas out of the house.  Maybe they do spend their money on habits when it would be more wisely spent on childcare.  Maybe they wouldn’t come close to receiving a “parent-of-the-year” award and possibly not even come close to the running.  Maybe their kids haven’t been taught respect and manners.  But even then, does this give us reason to judge them, dismiss them, to insist they should have never had children?  But we do.  And these are the parents who need us to rise above the most.

Parents of little ones don’t need our judgmental attitudes, our gossiping tongue, or our inconvenienced glares.  They need gentleness, reassurance, a little bit (no, a lot) of encouragement and more than anything, a tangible Jesus.   They need us to be like Him, to reach them in their worst and through the ugly, mess of it all to lend a hand and help a heart.

The next time you see that pajama-mama, give her a smile, lend her a hand, hold a door, return her cart, let her know she’s doing a good job, please find a way to extend grace.  Your choice of grace just may change her day, change her heart, change that families world. 

"Generous hands are blessed hands."  Proverbs 22:9

"Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up."  1 Thessalonians 5:11

Bath Time For Kitty

Peyton’s favorite toy is a small white kitty in which I think he believes is real.  He does everything with the kitty that we do with our real kitty, including giving it a bath. Almost daily he says “Mom, my kitty is dirty, can I give him a bath?” and usually he’s allowed. The last time the kitty got a bath with him, I gave Jayden her small pink puppy to bath. 

Which bring us to the day her kitty got a bath.

It was another Wednesday which meant Peyton had Cubbies at church.  That morning I sat down with him to go over his lesson while Jayden finished up her oatmeal in the kitchen. As we were going over his Bible verse, she walked in the room and I quickly realized she was not finishing her oatmeal as I had thought. There she was, in her nightgown, holding her soaking wet black kitty which was dripping all over the floor. She was as proud as could be having bathed her kitty just like her big brother!

“Uh oh! He’s dripping all over, let’s get a towel and dry him off,” I said.

Conveniently enough there lie a dish towel beside us on the floor. She picked up the towel, wrapped up the kitty, sat him on a stool and scrubbed him up. Not seeing this as much of a big deal, I let her go and went back to Peyton’s Cubbies lesson. She finished drying her kitty then sat near us to listen in.

When we were all finished, I figured I better go tackle the mess of water that I had assumed was all over the bathroom.

If only it were that simple.

I followed a trail of wetness through the kitchen, into the bathroom, and right up to what I expected to be the sink.  Instead, my eyes stopped at the toilet. 

The toilet.

A toilet that also happened to be filled with pee, wet toilet paper in and out, and surrounded by a drenched floor. This is the dreaded moment when I realized that little black kitten had gotten a bath in the toilet and my little girl, all this time, had been covered in water and pee. 

Into the bathroom she came, carrying her kitty, proud and ready to show Mama just how she bathed it all by herself.

“Jayden….did you bath your kitty in the potty?” I asked.

She shook her head yes without a care in the world.  It was now bath time for both a little girl and her kitty.  So I got her in the tub, put the kitty in basket with a load of laundry, and cleaned up the mess. 

I find myself relating to my girl.

Times when I felt I had a good idea, went ahead with it, did it on my own and when finished, looked at what I had done with pride.  Haven't you? 

Thinking, "Look what I've done!  What an accomplishment!"

Then, just like when Jayden brought me the kitty, we decide to let our Father in on what we've done.  We go to Him full of pride, ready to receive His blessing.  What we usually find out is that we've made a mess.  Our idea, as good as it seemed at the time, created a mess that ultimately He, Our Father, will have to clean up.  What we didn't realize at the time was our good idea was just that - our good idea.  We acted before we sought council from our Father.  

Our ideas, no matter how great, will soon turn into another mess without prayerful consideration and His guidance.  We need to seek Him first, spend time in prayer, receive His blessings before jumping into our "good idea."  

Because our "good idea" may not be such a good idea after all. 

Thank God for his grace and infinite love for us.  He helps clean up the messes we've made of our lives.  He washes us of our sins.  He gently wipes away our guilt and makes us new, only asking that we seek forgiveness and turn our hearts toward Him. 

Now when you ask Jayden, "Did you wash your kitty in the potty?" she shakes her head yes.  

But if you ask her, "Are you allowed to bath your kitty in the potty?" she will tell you no, understanding the potty isn't the best choice for a good bathing.    

Let us learn to seek God first, trusting that His ways are best.  Just as parents want only the best for our children, God, our Heavenly Father, wants only the best for us.

"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,' declares the LORD." Isaiah 55:8

"Guide me in Your truth and faithfulness and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You I wait expectantly all day long." Psalm 25:5