The Exchange Gift

The rubber band snapped and flew across the room.  She searched everywhere she possibly could, turned over every space and still couldn’t find where it went.  There was no purpose in finding it other than to ease her mind of wondering where it could possibly have gone.  She shared this story with me and then looked to a friend across the room,

“I’m not sure that you remember, but, back when we used to exchange gifts John gave Tom a flashlight.  That’s the same flashlight I got out to use and wouldn’t you know, it still works, it still shines…”

Her eyes instantly filled with tears. 

She reached her smooth, worn-by-time hand over and grabbed mine, leaned in and said “I’m always the crier of the group!”

That moment wouldn’t leave my mind.  And days later, it still hasn’t. 

I have never met her husband Tom.  He went to be with the Lord in the fall of 2006, just a few years before our families’ lives crossed paths.  But what she said about the Christmas gift all those years ago couldn’t be truer.  The light still shines. 

The life of a man I’ve never known greatly affected mine. 

He was the father of our pastor who has been at our side through hard times because, like he says “we’re family.” He was the father-in-law of a friend who has knelt to boldly pray for our lives.  He was the husband to the woman whose gentle spirit and sweet smile has been honey to our souls.  This man I have never known sewed into the Kingdom of God and my family has been blessed to have received nourishment from that harvest. 

The light of this man still shines because the light he carried was the very Light of Christ.

 “For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.”  2 Corinthians 4:12

“The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world.”  John 1:9

How appropriate to think of this example as we celebrate the Christmas season.  In His graciousness, God sent the gift of His Son so that we would no longer dwell in darkness.  This baby king came to conquer every burden, every sting of sin, and every grave to make a way for us to have a life that will not be cut short or ended.  When we bear the light of Christ in our hearts, our lives shine on long after we pass from the earth because His purpose on that first Christmas was to set eternity in the heart of man.  His plan was one that was and is eternal, and when we live according to it, we are part of a greater, grander story that defies the limits of time. 

This Christmas, may we be reminded of the Light that flooded the darkness of our sin-filled world and rescued our sin-filled selves.  May we choose to receive the gift of Jesus in our own hearts and live in a way that shines the Light of Christ long after we are passed from this temporary place.  As we exchange gifts, may we keep in mind to also exchange ones of lasting importance that reflect our Savior and shine His light into the lives of those we love: gifts of grace, of kindness, of undeserved favor and gentleness and of forgiveness.

Because that Christmas night long ago, we were freely given the greatest gift of all:

A Savior who received from us every sin in exchange to give us His Perfect Life that we may live.

Merry Christmas.

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of Life.”  John 8:12

Sin-Boots

It had been almost a month since we last saw our new friends.  She came around the corner with a huge smile and bubbling personality and he grinned ear to ear, ready to peel back more layers of the onion he claims us to be!  We introduced them to our son and quickly caught up before the church service started. 

She held out her leg and said “Look!!!” as she pointed to her boot. 

I was puzzled. 

My first thought was that I loved her brown boots, but I wasn’t sure why she was pointing those out to me.  Then she excitedly told us “My big BOOT is gone!  It’s healing!” 

How could I have forgotten?!  Weeks before she had injured her ankle and came to each of our group-study meetings with a huge boot and a limp.  The doctor finally allowed her to remove it and although she wasn’t healed completely, the boot was gone and her recovery was progressing. 

As we worshiped in their church service that morning, I thought to myself that I couldn’t believe I didn’t know what she was showing me.  I had hoped she didn’t think I had forgotten about her injury or failed to pray for or care for her healing in the weeks that followed our study-group ending.  I have prayed, I have been in touch with her, but for that moment Sunday morning I completely forgot about the boot she once carried. 

Then the whisper of God came.  The words my heart has been aching to hear:

You are not known by your limp. 

He called my attention to our pew full of those whose sins I have known, whose hearts have been laid bare before the throne, and who I love and admire.  My heart swelled because in this brief encounter with a friend, God was calling to me and loving me and making sure I understood His Truth without hesitation and without doubt. 

You see, there is an enemy of our hearts who comes to kill our life, and if not kill our very lives, then he sets out to steal and destroy our joy and our hope.  The enemy has a way of reminding us of where we once failed, where we have fallen short and of the things that once left us broken, unhealed and spiritually limping.  He determines to plague our days with guilt and take our trust in order to keep us limping and convince us that we will be known by our sin-boot.

But His Abiding Truth pierces the darkness because the darkness of sin once pierced His flesh.  God saw that we were all in need of a way to heal our broken, crippled selves and that we had no way of escaping sin on our own.  Our Gracious Father sent a baby King to be born in the most unlikely place, to make a way for the most undeserving people, and to die an unimaginable death so that we would no longer be prescribed to stumbling along in our sin. 

“For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.  Cleanse me with the hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whited than snow.”

Psalm 51:3, 7

 

That morning my friend explained how although her boot is removed, there is still much healing to take place.  After healing, there will be rehabilitation.  Yes.

Our hearts are much the same.

When we are tempted to believe the lies that are still grasping tight to our heels:

                Addictions.  Depression.  Anxiety.  Anger.  Lust.  Bitterness.  Guilt. 

                Times when a lapse in judgment cost us, cost another.  When weeping endured. 

                When the bottom fell out.  When darkness reigned.  Idolatry.  Adultery. 

    Whatever sin-boot may have once been….

                                                                                     We need to know the Truth.

 “He will rest [in silent satisfaction] and in His love He will be silent and make no mention [of past sins, or even recall them]; He will exult over you with singing.”

Zephaniah 3:17 AMP

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.”             

Psalm 103:12

 You are not known by your limp.

You are known by the Saving Grace of the cross.

Written For One

Every child has a favorite place: a fort, a tree house, a back yard, a park, a swing, a pool and while I had many good memories of each of these, my favorite place was my uncle’s lap.  I spent much of my childhood there drawing and learning and listening.  It was there that I’d write books and he would draw in the illustrations.  There was always a way that my story would come to life when he’d draw.  He’d draw the silliest things, people with too-big ears or too-big noses, never the way I pictured it in my mind.  But always just right, always to make my heart fill with laughter and joy.  

 We often don’t notice God’s hand in our lives until we look back. 

Looking back now, I can see time after time when God nourished that seed He planted within me so long ago.  Times when the ground of my heart was tilled and unearthed and the hard-stone was removed to make room for the growing.  Moments of spiritual drought and some of flooding.  Times when the “push through” didn’t come so easily and the harvest seemed lost.  But there was never a time when goodness wasn’t made of the broken, never a time when God’s hand wasn’t faithfully weaving His purpose and guiding my way until that particular seed came to bear fruit…

SHE BLED is a part of my story. 

    A part of my story that I have merely written, but one that He has brought life into.

                …one that I pray will allow others to seek Him in their own story and find life among the ashes. 

    A part of my story that I never expected to look as it does, but one that fills my heart with   absolute joy. 

                …one that I pray will give others the hope of finding joy again in their own messy, beautiful story.

More importantly, it is part of His stories.

The times when Jesus walked this earth and showed us just who He is and what He is capable of.

                …not a painted bright white image, not a religious set of requirements, or a false opinion of a lofty Christian.

   The story of His eternal plan of redemption, one of restoration, that would defy the limits of time.

                …all because His was the greatest act of love ever to be known and it was done with each of us in mind. 

I set out with the promise that I would write this book for one.   Over and over through the months of writing I have reminded myself of that promise, I have picked up and started again because of that promise, but it wasn’t until the book was published and on its way to my door step that I realized exactly what that promise meant.  

I promised to write it for one:   

for one heart to change and find Jesus, find healing, would be enough and would be worth it. 

But I realized my promise all along was that I would write it for ONE:

for the One God to use as He sees fit to reach a world [or one] in need of His Truth.

I have done what I promised to do: I wrote SHE BLED for One.
The rest is up to Him.

I celebrate a dream that has become a reality in authoring a book, and prayerfully more to come.                   

But I am not the real Author.  I am simply a chosen hand to pen these chosen words and walk a chosen path that leads to One.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.  For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.”

2 Corinthians 1:3-5

“No amount of impossibility can be weighed against His desire to heal His people.” p57

Copies of SHE BLED may be ordered by clicking HERE.

or email arburk25@yahoo.com

A Better Place to Be

This past spring we held a ladies retreat that was more than we could have imagined.  God left us in awe at His weaving together a perfect plan and His gracious redemption.  Many ladies asked for another retreat “soon” so they could bring their loved ones.  My husband and I prayed, set aside a fall weekend to host the next retreat and began promoting.  We went into it open to God’s will whether the retreat would take place or not.  The deadline came for signing up and many ladies who wanted to come were not able for one reason or another.  I hesitated to cancel the weekend with fear of letting people down, but knew with few attendees we simply couldn't have it. 

 

“Maybe there’s somewhere else He needs us to be.” 

My husband’s words came with an overwhelming sense of peace and a whispered ‘yes’ in my heart.  I knew it was the right thing to do and we decided to wait until next spring to have our next retreat.  If I’m honest I was a little disappointed, but God was allowing me the opportunity to surrender to His will and understand that His plans are greater than mine.  After all, we prayed about this weekend for weeks, so surely there was somewhere else God intended for us to be. 

I expected “big things” to happen in place of the retreat that weekend.  I really did. 

I expected there to be some WOW moment that made the reason for changed plans clear. 

But that weekend that we left open for God to take us where He needed us to be…

 

 

We visited an older couple who have become precious friends over the years. 

We took time to have conversations about fears and needed prayers.

We took the kids to a corn maze, rode a hayride, fed the “moo-tows” and had a picnic with a beautiful view of God's glory displayed through the autumn leaves. 

On another day, we brought home four new girls to our hen house that we have anxiously been waiting for.   Then we went to the farm and had dinner with my husband’s parents. 

We took the kids to ride bikes on the new cement feeding pad and watched the stars. 

And we laughed...a lot.

 

The transition between summer and fall always proves a busy season in our lives.   This year we have been vacationing, beginning a year of homeschool, starting up a new business, finishing projects, gathering and preserving a harvest, in the midst of raising three kids.  All good things, all blessings God has graciously provided but in all our good doing, we needed time to just be.    

When our good doing outweighs our simply being, we are left exhausted and emptied.  And does this world truly need more exhausted, emptied, burnt-out, run-dry, do-it-yourself Christ-claimers? 

Or is what this world needs truly those who have learned to live life to the full and live it well and breathe it in deep? Because what it needs are those who not only claim-Christ but who outwardly live like Christ.  Those who aren’t afraid to vulnerably show a dependence on a mighty God to get through their days. 

So in all this I was reminded that He knows our hearts, the very depths of our beings and what is needed there.  He knows that “big things” and “WOW moments” are found in the times we slow down to breathe in this life He has given, more so than the times the world defines as grand. 

 

 

 

Take time to breathe. 
Don't get in such a hurry to do more that you miss the blessing of the moment.
 

In all your busyness, maybe God has a better place for you to be. 

 

“So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad.  Then joy will accompany his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun.”  Ecclesiastes 8:15

Worshiping In Capes

A few weeks ago we traveled with our youth group to Indiana to attend the Engage Youth Conference.  Indiana Wesleyan University was our home away from home for five days.  Three of those evenings involved a theme and one of the themes was “Super Hero.”  We all dressed up, some of us far more so than others, and filed into the auditorium for the evening session. 
 

 

As we stood several rows back from the other leaders in our group, the music changed from upbeat to more of a somber prayer, yet there we all stood worshipping a Holy God in costumes that were every bit ridiculous.  Some had capes, some masks, others had fully-padded suits.  I watched as the room of "super-heroes" lifted their hands to praise and I thanked God for receiving us just as we are.  A few rows in front of us I noticed a friend who, fully dressed in a face-mask and cape, knelt beside her husband in prayer.  When it comes down to it, super-heroes or not, there is only One God capable of rescuing us.  All “super-hero’s” and “super-figures” must bow before the One King. 

Now we’re settled back into home and God reminded me of that moment in worship.

      Was I trying to be a super hero in my own life? 

     Was he asking me to come before Him, to fix my eyes on Him and let Him be the Hero of my story? 

Because far too often I want to take matters into my own hands and put things in order to my own timing.  I’m guilty of spending too much time whining and anxiously waiting and wondering instead of trusting.  As a mom, a wife, a friend…

When my kids struggle with the pains of growing and learning life as it is, I want to swoop in with my red sequin “super-mom” headband and make it easier.  I want to create the perfect day of homeschool, the clean house, and the full-course meal and do it all while folding my laundry, paying our bills, tending to the garden and preserving the harvest.  But most days I utterly fail to live up to all these unrealistic aspirings.

When so many close to us are receiving diagnosis after diagnosis and we’re all a little shocked by the weight of it all, I want so badly to have the right words or prayers or actions to be “super-anything” that might make it better.  I want to have a “super-guarantee” that it will all turn out as we selfishly expect, but as a room full of hundreds got on our knees before God to lift these concerns, He whispered just what it was I am to expect: the eternal.  He didn’t guarantee the cancer would be healed or the unresponsive would respond but He does guarantee eternal life for all those who believe.  In the eternal, there is no terminal, there is only life.

We all do it in one way or another.  We pick up the capes and try to rescue ourselves from all that seems out of our control.  But what if we just took a moment to pause, to stop in the middle of it all and worship the One who is over it all. 

                The One who is able to heal.

                The One who is in control when all seems vastly out of control.

                The One who cares about every detail and knows the inmost places of our hearts.

                The One who goes before us and makes a way that transcends time.

                The One who sees far beyond our earthbound perspective and into eternity.

                The One who promised to never leave us nor forsake us. 

 

He reigns above all that weighs us down: the insecurity, the cancer, the diagnosis, the unexpected, the mundane, the waiting, the process, the heartbreaks, the depression, the unresponsive, the bad day, the job loss…

We can’t save ourselves. 

But there is rescue, there is a Savior, there is Jesus. 

And at the end of the day, no matter what we may face, Jesus remains. 

Eternity set in our hearts to save us forever.

May we be a people who expect the eternal, who pray boldly that no matter how hard it is or what road lies ahead, that eternity may be the answer.  Let our desire be that Jesus would win every heart and every soul involved regardless of the earthly cost.  May we learn to stop reaching for capes and begin reaching for grace.  May we understand that all our wall-scaling is useless and the only place we belong is on our knees before the cross of the One who already did the saving.  He is able and He is mighty to save.
 

 

“I do not trust in my bow, my sword does not bring me victory; but you give us victory over our enemies, you put our adversaries to shame.  In God we make our boast all day long, and we will praise your name forever.  Selah.”

Psalm 44:6-8

 

“God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks.  It’s a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God…When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself.  Enter the silence.  Bow in prayer.  Don’t ask questions:  Wait for hope to appear.”  Lamentations 3:25-29 MSG

To Live On Love

“You can’t live on love.”

With good intentions that was advice given just over 10 years ago and this stubborn heart set out to marry her best friend, determined to prove that statement wrong.

Over the past 10 years we have learned just what it means to live on love and there have been times when love is all we’ve lived on. 

 

The first years were rough ones, we faced loss and disappointment and life head on.  Love was something we thought we knew all about, a verb that we blissfully and naively stepped into.  For some time, we got the majority of it all wrong. We allowed circumstances and others opinions and late notices and burnt dinners and unpacked boxes to define our life together.   The tangible art of two lives becoming one was messier than we anticipated, dirtier than either of us cared to admit, and harder than we ever thought possible.  We went from a spirit of “conquering the world together” to one of “how in the world did it turn out like this?”  We took the love that God planted and grew and tended to for years before we said “I do” and we squandered it away.  We blamed each other for our own shortcomings, we were stubborn and unwilling to budge, we wept silently over stacks of bills, we placed burdens on one another that we should have relieved, we held grudges when we could have redeemed, we were critical and quick to point out something when it didn’t go our way. 

We had love, we wanted to understand love, but we did it all wrong. 

There was a defining period of time when we, like the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32), came walking back to our Father.  When we realized we had to go back to where we began or we’d lose it all, so we turned it all around and He met us there. 

God met us in the mess that we were.  He lavished us with this grace-filled kind of love that is only through His own heart.  He showed us what love was really all about and how aside from Him, we would never get it right. 

 

“Marriage is a crucifixion and you aren’t meant to survive it.”

Charles Stanley

 

We took our love back to the cross, and allowed our-single-selves to be crucified in order that our-married-selves could live as one.  When our marriage remains grounded in Christ, it cannot be undone.  Ten years later and we have this imperfect, beautiful, moment-by-moment grace LOVE that we do not take for granted.  We have learned that it is not our circumstances or others or bills or dinners or messes that define our life together but instead, is the undeserved sacrifice that is Christ.   Our marriage is to be a reflection of the ultimate marriage between Christ and His Church.  We still have shortcomings and we still get it wrong some of the time, we are far from perfect, but we extend grace and we stay hand in hand.  We hold our tongue when we’d like to shoot words. We allow our wills to bend and meet one another.  We are quicker to apologize and slower to allow feelings to speak over Truth.  We fix our eyes on the eternal and let go of the worldly things that don't matter.

This life is still rough and we still face loss and disappointment, immense amounts of it to be honest, but we understand it differently now.  We allow God to refine us through it and make good out of it.  We lean in close when life wants to pull us hard away.   It’s still messy and the sin is still dirty, but it is part of living and we are living ON LOVE and we are living IN LOVE. 

 

 

If there’s one solid Truth that I have learned in 10 years of marriage it is this:

 

You can’t TRULY LIVE without TRUE LOVE. 

“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”  John 10:10

 

 

 

Happy 10th Anniversary My Love. 

Thank you for being my very best friend through it all.

I Love You.  Always.

The Death of a Saint

Psalm 116:15 "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints."

It's been one year today since this dear old man went Home.  When I open the Bible that he gave me, I am brought to tears nearly every time as his scent still lingers there.  As I play his record, his song still sings over me just as it has since I was a brand new baby.  I still find his notes and long for his call to check in.  His memory seems to be everywhere I turn and my heart aches as I adjust to his earthly dwelling having passed.

But this death that I grieve...
                              the Lord sees as precious.

Precious is the one who falls asleep in Jesus (1 Thes. 4:13). 

Precious is one who believes he will be raised up on the last day (John 6:40). 

Precious is the one who did not waver through unbelief regarding the promises of God (Rom. 4:20-22). 

Precious is the one who was not ashamed of the gospel and who knew the power of God to save everyone who believes (Rom. 1:16). 

Precious is the one who let his light shine before men by living a generous life (Matt. 5:16). 

Precious is the one who freely gave because by grace he freely received (Matt. 10:8). 

Precious is the one who, in his weakness, went to Jesus to find rest for his soul (Matt. 11:28). 

Precious is the one whose testimony was Christ - who used his life to proclaim Jesus, even while facing death (1 John 2:2, 6).

So in this grieving, I will give thanks for I am confident that because of Christ, death does not have the victory or the final say.   I will give thanks for a life who put others above self and Christ above all else.

As we grieve those who have gone before us, may we rejoice in the work of Christ in their lives.  May it spur us on to faithfully run the race ahead of us, knowing our reward is beyond all this earth can hold.  May we find confidence and strength in the only Name that saves: Jesus.  May we live our lives in such a way that our death would be precious in the sight of the Lord.  Though our flesh may ache and grieve, may our souls be comforted in the promise of being reunited and, more importantly, of salvation to all who believe.

"I'd rather be in a deep, dark grave and know that my poor soul was saved, than to live in this world in a house of gold, deny my God and doom my soul.  What good is gold and silver too if your heart's not good and true. Sinner hear me when I say, fall down on your knees and pray."